Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
