kristin has been a bad kristin
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
