OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Quick, to the slutcave!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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