Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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