walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
