does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
