i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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