i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Houston, we have a squirter
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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