He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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