It's just like the Real World with babies
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
