He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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