yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
