I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
