im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
