Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
