My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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