Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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