he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
