ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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