Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
