Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
