woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
