you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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