He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
