why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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