even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
