Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there