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You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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