so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.