Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter

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  (305): You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter http://tfl.nu/j7mv
  Replies (1) Good night (1323) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (687) Bad night (3364) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

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  (909): he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman" http://tfl.nu/jaxb
  Replies (79) Good night (1403) Bad night (6774) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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  (908): when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave. http://tfl.nu/35vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1454) Bad night (6163) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.

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  (703): I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend. http://tfl.nu/4wvr
  Replies (9) Good night (3799) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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  (202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s
  Replies (15) Good night (2832) Bad night (5517) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I miss vodka workout Fridays

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  (786): I miss vodka workout Fridays http://tfl.nu/gp5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2739) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party

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  (248): yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party http://tfl.nu/f5te
  Replies (7) Good night (3247) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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  (315): He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like. http://tfl.nu/nq61
  Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (2957)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.

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  (817): I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw. http://tfl.nu/upb5
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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  (401): I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands. http://tfl.nu/2kp5
  Replies (20) Good night (677) Bad night (2531) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
  Replies (12) Good night (411) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.

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  (406): There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/fovj
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (240) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.

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  (772): She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me. http://tfl.nu/4pez
  Replies (6) Good night (374) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt

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