you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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