Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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