Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
