I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
