Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
