Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
