508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need help removing her.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
