I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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