dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
