trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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