I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
