im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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