don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
