i think i have herpe
just one?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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