i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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