Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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