yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
