I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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