And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
