Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
