i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
