ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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