I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
