I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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