so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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