Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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