she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
